The following is a column I wrote that was originally published in the SNITCH weekly newspaper on December 8, 2004. Who would have thought that a spam email about a bogus-sounding spray that allegedly makes your license plate invisible to automatic traffic policing cameras would lead me to ponder my own ethical dilemma? Well, it did. Also, raising a teen and a pre-teen keeps you focused on the example you’re setting. To see how all of this fits together in a column, read on. If you have an opinion, send me an email: (email@example.com).
By the way, my daughters are now 17 and 19, the ethical dilemma is now even more pronounced! And, as prophesized by this column over 5 years ago, the 19 year old just got her first traffic ticket. Does she now need a radar detector, too?
Radar love, like license spray, is detectable as clear hypocrisy
Stuck to my windshield is one of my best investments ever – and a glaring ethical dilemma: my radar detector.
As I revealed in a column earlier this year about attending traffic school, I occasionally go faster than the posted speed limit. Not recklessly — while I’ve been rear-ended once and broadsided once — I’ve never been “at fault” in an accident. I obey speed limits on secondary roads. It’s interstate highways where my foot gets a little heavier. I don’t like long car rides and don’t mind going a little faster to make them shorter. You can already smell the rot of my not-so-defensible rationalization of this “warn me when the cops are around so I can stop breaking the law” device, can’t you? As a father of a now 14-year-old daughter, as well as one who will soon be 12, it’s getting harder for me to put up with the stench, too. Especially when my girls wonder why their normally “law & order” dad has a gadget that helps him not get caught when he breaks the law.
“Daddy, what’s that little thing with the lights on it that keeps making those irritating beeping sounds?”
“Er, uh … that’s my, uh … ‘keep daddy honest’ machine. Yeah! That’s what it is. When it goes off, I know there could be a nice police officer near by. It reminds me to make sure I’m not going over the speed limit.”
“What do you do when there aren’t any police around?”
“Uh … well, uh … I always drive very carefully.”
“You know, dad, in two years, I’ll be driving.”
Gulp. “Well, yeah, but you have to have been driving for … uh … 10 whole years before you can get your own radar detector. You first need to learn how to drive very carefully without one, like dad did.”
We all know kids start questioning their parents when they become teen-agers, even when mom and dad have an iron-clad case. And here I am shoveling this #2 at them, just because Van Halen and I both “can’t drive 55,” as the song says. Ugh.
Then, this morning, I get a spam email touting the next greatest, “legal in all 50 states” law enforcement-evading “technology” for your car: Photo-Blocker Spray. Around the country, local police are installing sensor-triggered cameras at intersections where people often run red lights. When you do, the camera photographs your license plate and, voil·, a few weeks later you get a ticket in the mail. This spray supposedly makes your license plate un-photographable, by making it so shiny the camera records a bright, unreadable reflection instead. The coating is supposedly “invisible to the naked eye,” so your plates are still perfectly readable and no one can tell you’ve used the spray.
This seemed like so many other emails I get, promising a better mortgage rate, a Rolex for a song, or a bigger male member. But, just out of columnist curiosity, I went to the Photo-Blocker manufacturer’s website anyway. There I viewed apparently independent and legitimate video clips of newscasts (one from the Bakersfield, Calif., CBS affiliate and one from the FOX affiliate in Washington, D.C.) that showed the spray actually does produce a number-hiding, reflective glare in traffic intersection police photos. One TV reporter cited tests conducted by the Denver Police Department, calling the product “surprisingly effective.”
So, did I immediately place an order? No I didn’t, I’m proud to say.
Yes, ethically, the spray isn’t far from a radar detector. One keeps the cop cameras from identifying you, the other keeps radar guns from catching you. I won’t even try to denigrate one while rationalizing the other.
The most defensible reason why I won’t ever buy anything that would enable me to run red lights is safety. In my own twisted mind, if I go 70 or 75 on an interstate highway, I’m doing so when it is “safe” — light traffic, good weather, roads built for those kinds of speeds, etc.
If I choose to run a red light, I’m risking that a law-abiding citizen will choose to go through his green light at the same time and ruin both our days — or more. That puts my fate in someone else’s hands as well as mine — a risk I won’t take.
Yeah, I know, I know. Will I accept this distinction the first time one of my daughters brings home a speeding ticket, versus a ticket for running a right light? Not a chance! They both better obey all traffic laws, or be forced to hang up their keys.
As for dad, yes, he’ll have to practice what he preaches, too. Looks like my radar detector’s days are numbered. Sigh.
RUSS MANEY is a former columnist for Louisville Business First and Louisville SNITCH. Please use the ‘Comment’ feature on this blog to comment on this article. Or, if you prefer, send your comments to me at firstname.lastname@example.org, but know that I may then post them on this blog.